26 September 2008

Jobsworth

Never let it be said that I don't appreciate our postman - whichever one of several he might happen to be. If he brings me nice parcels and not too many brown envelopes then I'm happy.

He, apparently, is not! He doesn't like my joined-up gardening (mentioned in a post earlier in the year) with soft edges.

A month or so ago we had a note scrawled on an envelope asking us ... sorry, telling us ... to clear the path of plants. We rarely use our front door so hands up, we had let the path get a little overgrown and I saw a rogue holly seedling getting perilously close to the path ... think scratched bare leg, woops, not good for postie. Pauley cut everything back to ensure that postie didn't snag his summertime shorts on anything prickly or tickly and all was well ...

Until Wednesday ... Chilly day, could have rained but thankfully didn't, because postie left the letters on the back doorstep (which is on the side of the house and in the front rather than at the back of the house). Anyway, Pauley phoned the PO to complain ... did you know there's a PO complaints line? There is. On Thursday he used the letterbox in the front door (or it may of course have been our normal postie) but today he put the post in the back porch on the floor. Admittedly the door was open as we were in the garden discussing the positioning of the compost bin we were about to go out to buy.

Anyway ... Pauley caught sight of the postman as he came back along the road and 'collared' him to ask why he wasn't using the letterbox. "Ah!" said postie "I feel a moan coming on ...". Charming! It turns out he has to have a straight, clear walk to the door because of "elf'n'safety ..." and the fact that a valerian and a hebe are growing over the edge of the path would seem to be a problem.

But this is the best bit ... we have a cotoneaster horizontalis which had grown into a bush and was trimmed to within an inch of its life by the previous owner. It is on the corner of where the path to the front door meets the drive at right angles and has grown a bit. I like topiary and clean-cut edges in other people's gardens if that's what they, themselves, like. But I don't like it in mine. Postie obviously does. The soft edges of the squared off cotoneaster full of lovely autumnal berries are obviously not to his taste. Apparently ... wait for it ... he might get a bee land on him from it. Yes, I kid you not. There might be bees on it. Aaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, this afternoon, instead of digging the new border I am trying to create in the back garden, I spent the allotted time in the front garden with Pauley ... armed with hedge trimmer, secateurs and shears, plastic sacks and a yard brush. If postie doesn't like the results of our labours then Pauley will be phoning that complaints line.

When I think of dear Eddie, our postie in Dilton Marsh, who used to walk down the 50ft long path to our old cottage, under rose arches, through clematis tendrils and gaps no more than 2ft wide with a smile on his face regardless of the weather, I do wonder what the world is coming to.

Apologies to any posties out there. I do understand, but this jobsworth lark takes the biscuit!

I feel better now I've shared this with you!

22 comments:

salina said...

You say you feel better after sharing with us your story, well now I feel better after having read your story. I would have like to have seen it when Pauley 'collared' the postman. I giggled at that and i'm not even entirely sure of what that means to collar someone.;)
Thanks,
Salina

lettuce said...

pfffffttttt how ridiculous

Aren't bees a natural hazard of an outdoors job?

we've had window cleaners complaining (rather reasonably) about our cotoneaster and virginia creeper.
but never the postman.

i always want to complain about the rubber bands they always shed over the pavement....

Country Cottage Chic said...

Oh that is crazy! Lucky our postie is made of sterner stuff!

BusyLizzie said...

Phew, I am sooooo glad I just spent the afternoon weeding the border by the path to our front door!!!!

Redwoodhouse said...

can hardly believe what I am reading, silly man needs my mother to sort him out!!!!!!!!
Jan

Libbys Blog said...

For goodness sake!! I do not believe it!! I'm speechless!!!

carolyn said...

Good grief this one isn't exactly Postman Pat is he?
If mine was like him I'd never get any post, now there's a plan it's usually bills to be paid anyway!

Alchamillamolly said...

I am so cross for you - why are people so horrible it sounds like he doesnt want to be a postman.

Sue a question for you - I have two boxes of Victoria magazines that I simply cannot keep anymore - they are in excellent condition do you think its worth ebaying them and if so would you sell them seperately or in years? and if so what would you ask? I know I am being cheeky asking but I know they must be worth something but would be a courier job if they were to go together as they weigh so much - why is paper so heavy ? is it reverting back to a tree!! when you lump it together

Dreadnought said...

I keep on hearing about and paying extra taxes and goodness knows what in order to save the planet but when I hear stuff like this I wonder what the hell for! I guess the animals deserve a planet though. Bob.

Dreadnought said...

By the way, I got stung on the arm by a bee whilst dead heading Dahlia's just the other day, does that mean I don't have to do it anymore?

kelly said...

I wouldnt post here what I think of people like him. I couldnt use the words in public. What is it about these people? They put on a uniform and they all become Hitler!

funkymonkey said...

Your postman sounds a bit of a prat to me!

Shammickite said...

I loved this story! That is so unreasonable. Walking up garden paths where there might possibly be an overhanging plant or (gasp!) a naturally occurring flying insect is one of the occupational hazards of being a postie.
But think about it.... you're lucky you have a postie at all, I have to fetch my letters from a "Super Mail Box" at the end of my street! No home delivery in this small town!

Alchamillamolly said...

Many thanks for your response about the Victoria's. I used to do lots of ebaying but since moving havent been able to justify any bits! once we realised how much we actually had. Then I went back on to ebay a couple of days ago and the whole thing had changed, I don't find it a bit user friendly anymore.

Alchamillamolly said...

Sorry hadn't finished my posting _ I was distracted! I think I will investigate the P&P charges and might try a few on my blog. I first need to get them all out and sort them into years - and then I know what will happen I will love them again and keep them!!

Lace hearts said...

What an absolute jobsworth! 'elf and safety is a serious issue, isn't it!! I'm afraid I chuckled a little bit at your post. Was that naughty? x

Sal said...

What is this world coming to?

When I did the Christmas post,as a student,I was walking up a path to the door (all glass) and on the other side of the door, a dog was bounding up the hallway at full speed and..he came right through the door!! I was showered with glass !
I'll never forget it! ;-)

Frances said...

Love the postie story...Now if that had been a female postperson she would have tidied the border for you whilst dodging the dogs & cuddling the cats.... all with a smile I'm sure!
Re the Car Boot at Burton Bradstock... silly me it's actually in the car park at 'West Bay'.
Bye for now Frances

Todd Camplin said...

Ah the postman, he never stops to say hello, but sometimes he brings me greeting cards so I can make art work from the words.

Gingham and Flowers said...

Oh my goodness. Truely unbelievable. My lovely cousin Katie got a Management trainee job with the post office and she deals with the complaints department for the post men themselves. The department they go to to complain about health and safety and other such issues. She hates it! The fact that her department exists shows that unfortunately there are obviously many jobsworths like your posties around! Hope you get your post through the letterbox from now on.

OhSoVintage said...

Words fail me!!! I do know there is a complaints line as I, too, complained about our postman at our previous address. He was very rude to me on more than one occasion for no reason and I felt very agrieved! The lady I complained to was absolutely lovely and said it would be taken up with his supervisor. Your postie story is much better than mine, though. Pity 'That's Life' isn't still on the tv. He would definitely be featured on that.

Clare said...

Hi Sue, Crikey, what a jobs-worth indeed! We've been lucky with our postman (and postlady!) they often collide head on with our hanging baskets when they turn to leave!! Clare x